Today I spent 6 hours philosophising
Today was pretty damn good.
Today I was in the flow.
I’d struggle to tell you any of what I wrote about without checking my writing, but for the first time that I can remember I feel like I really started to get a grip around how this writing lark will work for me. I’ve spent so long just writing and coming up with various bits of gunk and bleurgh and yuck but today it felt like it flowed.
It made sense, it sprouted more thoughts, it made me go look up interesting facts in books I had read and then read a bit more of the book and understand a bit more of the book. Insights rolled onto the page, patterns were found and laid out bare for inspection.
I don’t have anything in particular to show for it, not a finished project or piece of work, rather I have a sense of progression, of moving forward. This, for me, is huge. Having normally measured my progress according to boxes ticked and to-do items done, it was amazing to spend hours concentrating on something constructive but not necessarily productive.
I feel clear, fresh, like flowing water. I feel like I managed to let go for a while, to float down the river and move forward in my crazy, haphazard, bouncy journey without needing to have a goal or endpoint set, but rather in the joy of the journey.
I captured lots of useful thoughts and insights to keep me going on my ever-changing path. (So I guess I do have something to show for it, but they’re the jewels found along the road rather than the ever retreating prizes at the end of the path).
I’m not sure what it all means but I know that I liked it and I’m going to try and do it again.
I’d like to put some stuff together to share, but there’s no promises; as selfish as it may sound, this stuff is for me and until I get to a place where I’m stable enough to work from it has to stay that way. Once I learn how to swim in this river then it’ll be a whole different game.
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