Afternoon nap by recompose

Jen Louden / Comfort Queen‘s A Comfort Tele-Experience

Available now as an audio download recording of the call with pdf notes.

I missed the original call, but later on found that the idea of a process to gently find comfort for myself appealed and so, even though the sales page itself didn’t quite resonate, I thought I would check this out having had Jen on my blog radar for a while.

How do comfort and fear relate?

One of the most important concepts for me that Jen and some of the callers talked about was the idea that the comfort we normally seek (oh, say, like er… food or ‘busywork’) is not actually comforting us, but rather keeping us trapped in a cycle where we soldier on, and keep pushing ourselves forward, rather than (important part:) being able to take the time to really find out what’s going on for ourselves.

Since we don’t really relax into a true sense of comfort when we pave over these cracks that appear (munch, munch, munch – potter, potter, potter) we never actually receive the healing that we hear about coming from a quiet, reflective practice and we can end up blaming ourselves for being ‘different’, ‘broken’ or otherwise unable to receive what we need to feel truly safe and supported.

Why I need help finding comfort

Part of this for me comes from the fact that I just haven’t ever seen anyone else take this comfort. It’s in nothing I noticed on TV, in film, in my family or friends, in my relationships or in the books I’ve read. I just don’t know how! Thankfully Jen was able to remind me that these things are learnt, and I’m not deficient due to my lack of knowledge, I’m just not educated in this area.

A second reason is the myth that if I seek to look after myself in that way I will become self-involved, uncaring towards others and generally a totally obnoxious git. This leads to a resistance against moving towards the comfort that could then help me heal and grow.

Thankfully I have started to make lots of new friends online who do know about this and can show me different ways of reaching this comfort through the journeys that they have taken and are still taking, including Jen.

Why this was a match for me?

I’ve two different themes going on for me at the moment. One is around noticing and letting go of expectations which are producing guilt and fear, and the other is about finding more balance. When I talk about balance here I think a few different things but most accessible to me at the moment are the Yin-Yang theory of Chinese tradition and the Ha-Tha balance in Yoga. To that I would now add the Comfort-Learning balance.

I’m currently feeling a strong need for more Yin, more Tha, and this translates to needing more comfort in my life. With these sides of the equation, the inactivity, the release, the surrender lead to an inner strength, healing and replenishment. Or at least, that’s the journey that I’m looking to investigate this Winter season.

Did I get any concrete results?

The recording involves a guided process which took me through how I might find some real comfort, what that would involve and what I need. As usual with this kind of product, I connected with some parts stronger than others, but I definitely got several moments of clarity as I listened to the call and was grateful that I could pause and make notes as I went.

The fact I was then able to write this review straight after with a feeling of total calm and peace (even when looking at the areas I feel most vulnerable in), as well as with unusually high clarity for me, means I will definitely be returning to this when I need help finding comfort again in the (probably near) future.

If you like this, you’ll like…

This is a wonderful complement to Havi’s work at fluentself.com and Jen mentions Havi, as well as several other people that have inspired or helped her, all of whom are in the downloadable notes that come with the recording of the call.

Want to see more? Try one of these posts:

• Making looking after myself a priority
• An experiment in writing about the process
• Antipode