Day 1: Good and bad

Sunday, December 14th, 2008

Well, I managed to actually do what I said I would today. So first off: WOOHOO!

Since it seems sensible to review the bad then re-focus on the good, that’s what I’m going to go for here.

The bad

I didn’t get up until about 4pm today. Wacky sleeping hours don’t really help me and leave me feeling disconnected.

I didn’t get out of my pyjamas until about 6.30ish. Since washing and dressing means doing the stuff, I was holding off.

I got mad at myself for not being able to do Level 3 fast, and for slowing it down so I could do it.

I think I may have upset the bf by leaving the room when he came in. It’s tough saying some of this outloud so it doesn’t get said.

I’m frightened that I’m supporting myself incorrectly when I’m sitting upright because various muscles hurt.

I got distracted loads of times, and it took seemingly ages to get my breath to quiet down.

I did some Shiva Nata and 20 minutes of breathing meditation.

I gave myself some relaxing time before going into the process so as to avoid doing it because I ‘should’ rather than choosing to.

I’m writing this post.

I recognised that I was getting mad at myself around the Shiva Nata and was able to be kind to myself about it.

I was able to re-focus on the breathing every time that I got distracted.

I was able to get to quiet breathing.

I can apparently time 20 minutes without a clock, since this is the second time I’ve tried the meditation and my body has said stop at 20 minutes.

My body training means that I can adjust my posture and work on relaxing tense muscles without too much effort.

I’m ok that nothing spectacular has happened after just one session.

I’m ok with the idea that nothing may happen after 30 days – possibly because I’m writing this just after doing some meditation

I have a space where I can do this, and I was able to stop my feet from going numb by sitting on cushions and changing legs over.

I know that I did manage to get completely focussed on my breath for at least a short while.

I love doing Shavasana (lying on the floor completely relaxed) and it’s a legitimate way of getting myself back into the real world.

The bf has cooked us dinner and it’s now ready.

TTFN