I’m so grateful right now that I am able to laugh at myself.  Otherwise I’d probably be really angry right now just because I’m human.

Patterns etc.

Joely recently wrote about the repeated work that some patterns take.  I suspect it applies to all of them – they wouldn’t be patterns if they were so easy to overturn after all.

So why am I surprised to find the same ones keep cropping up?

Because I still like to think that each time I meet my patterns that this time I’ve dissolved them.  See why I’m laughing?!  Don’t you just want to pat me on the head and go “there, there”?  I sure do.

The latest realisation

I don’t change just because I want to, I also need to be ready to.  I’ll be ready when I can be grateful for where I am now, for all the lessons it has taught me, when I no longer fear or resist what is.

So let’s see, we’ve got…

• feeling of lack
• feeling broken
• trying to do rather than be
• impatience
• resisting what is
• non-mindful desire to change
• forgetting that change is only possible once you can see fully where you are at the moment

…and probably a load more.

As I said, at least I can laugh at myself for being surprised to see these again!  Because oh look, here’s some bigger patterns coming up again:

• being surprised to see patterns keep coming up (despite the fact that that’s their definition!)
• letting myself believe that intellectual learning is the same as living the realisation

It’s getting a little recursive with these so I’ll stop there.  But I’ve recorded my little thought above to remind me that what I want to be doing right now is nothing.  That right now my focus is on being, whatever that may turn out to involve.

Want to see more? Try one of these posts:

• Too fast to write about it
• The journey to nowhere
• Following a thread as far as I can